I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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