If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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