She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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