Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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