What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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