Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
