Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
