Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
