he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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