true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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