I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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