it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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