You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
false alarm. still invincible.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
