I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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