You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
