I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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