I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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