Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
