We should be called the Road Head Warriors
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
