You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
