Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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