Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize