Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
