I love black thongs
Need sex. Gaining weight.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Drunk is not a location!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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