At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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