Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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