my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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