my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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