She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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