at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
