i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
