Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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