Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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