Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
