My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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