If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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