took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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