At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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