I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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