hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize