When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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