You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
