how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
