I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
