my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
