And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
