I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
