i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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