He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize