two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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