Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The uberlube is also flammable
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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