Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
