An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
