I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
