She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
