The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She's the barista slut.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
