It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
